Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful — and hardest — tasks you may face after losing someone you love. You're being asked to sum up a whole life in a few hundred words, often while you're still grieving. Please be gentle with yourself. There is no perfect obituary, only an honest one written with love.
This guide walks you through what to include, a simple step-by-step process, a fill-in-the-blank template you can copy, and a few etiquette notes. Take it one section at a time.
What to Include in an Obituary
Most obituaries cover the same core details. You don't need every item — use what feels right for the person and your family.
- Full name, including maiden name or nickname
- Age, and dates of birth and death
- City and state where they lived
- A brief announcement of the passing ("peacefully at home," "surrounded by family")
- Life story — birthplace, education, career, military service, marriage
- Passions and personality — hobbies, faith, volunteer work, what made them them
- Surviving family members, and those who preceded them in death
- Service details — date, time, and location of the funeral, wake, or memorial
- Donation or flower requests ("In lieu of flowers, the family asks...")
Step-by-Step: How to Write an Obituary
1. Gather the facts first
Before you write a single sentence, collect the names, dates, and details. Ask other family members to fill in gaps — someone may remember a job, an award, or a hometown you'd forgotten. Getting the facts down first takes pressure off the writing.
2. Start with the announcement
Open with the essential news: who died, their age, where, and when. This is the factual anchor that every reader is looking for.
3. Tell their story
This is the heart of the obituary. Move roughly through their life — where they were born and raised, their family, their work, and the things they cared about. You don't need a full biography. One vivid detail ("she never missed a Sunday crossword") says more than a list of dates.
4. List the survivors
Name immediate family first, then extended family and close friends. It's a comfort to readers to see who loved this person and who is left to carry their memory.
5. Share the service details
Tell people how they can pay their respects — the service time and place, and any livestream link. If you're still coordinating arrangements, our guide on what to do when someone dies can help you keep track.
6. Add a closing line
A short farewell — a favorite quote, a line of scripture, or a simple "She will be deeply missed" — gives the obituary a gentle place to land.
A Fill-in-the-Blank Obituary Template
Copy this and replace the brackets. Adjust anything that doesn't fit.
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully / unexpectedly] on [date] at [location].
[He / She / They] was born on [birth date] in [birthplace] to [parents' names]. [Name] [graduated from / served in / worked as]... and was known for [passion, trait, or accomplishment].
[Name] is survived by [spouse, children, grandchildren, and other family]. [He / She / They] was preceded in death by [names].
A [funeral / memorial service] will be held on [date] at [time] at [location]. In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [organization].
[Closing line, quote, or scripture.]
A Short Obituary Example
Margaret "Peggy" Ellis, 82, of Asheville, North Carolina, passed away peacefully on August 3, 2026, surrounded by her family.
Born in 1944 in Charleston, Peggy taught third grade for 34 years and never forgot a former student's name. She loved her garden, strong coffee, and any excuse to host Sunday dinner.
She is survived by her husband, Robert; her daughters, Anne and Claire; and four grandchildren. She was preceded in death by her son, Michael.
A memorial service will be held Saturday, August 9, at 11 a.m. at First Methodist Church. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the local literacy council.
"Well done, good and faithful servant."
Obituary Etiquette
A few gentle guidelines as you write and share:
- Check names with family before publishing. A misspelled name or an accidentally omitted relative can cause real hurt.
- Be honest but kind. An obituary can acknowledge a difficult life without dwelling on pain. Lead with what was loved.
- Protect privacy. Avoid listing a home address or details that could aid identity theft.
- Decide on the cause of death together. It's personal, and there's no obligation to share it.
- Read it aloud before you submit. Hearing the words helps you catch errors and feel whether the tone is right.
When it's ready, share a draft with a couple of family members. A second set of eyes catches mistakes and, just as importantly, lets others feel part of honoring the person you all loved.
How EstateWrap Helps
Writing an obituary is just one piece of settling a loved one's affairs — and it often comes at the same time as funeral planning, notifications, and paperwork. EstateWrap gives you organized checklists, ready-to-use templates, and a calm, step-by-step path through it all, so nothing slips through the cracks while you grieve.
Start free — unlock every premium template for a one-time $62 (lifetime access, no subscription).